the spaces between my fingers are where yours fit perfectly.

i am missing something from inside of me. it's like putting the washing on and then realising you forgot the powder. its fighting battles with my heart and my mind, struggling to choose which lead to follow. well i cant follow either, sometimes choosing isn't a possibility. you have to be a little bit of everything. sometimes i lie on my driveway and press my chest to the bricks where your car used to be.it's not calming, but it makes me feel alive again. i can hear my heart beating and the steady thud gets louder and louder, louder than sirens, louder than bells. i cant hear myself speak anymore, my inner voices rage up inside me and the noise is tearing me up on the inside. ive become my thoughts, become the unsaid words in my head that spit back and forth like paper planes. i wanted to dissapear. and now i have. is it as sweet for you as it is for me? i just wanted to get away from all the battles, all the conflict and confusion. because you overwhelm me.my dress sparkles in the night and often i ride my bike up and down the alleyways when the sun is gone and you with it. in my dress, and i am not alone. not one night have i been alone. but not another soul is with me. i bet you don't understand. no eyes see, and no ears hear, i will never tell what goes on.but it's okay. because i can't. because im gone. and i can see you, but you can't see me. such is life.