it's making a wish you know wont come true.

i feel like im in a dream.my heart beats yet my mind isnt in sync. i sit crossed legged by the bubbling fishpond.Its late and in my mind im someplace else, somewhere with magic and dancing, a place where nothing is serious. the only sound is the fountain but i can hear music.its perfect, but still incomplete. i want alot, but at the same time i want nothing at all. i dont want a knight in shining armour, i have him already.he is my lighthouse for those moments i feel like im drowning at sea.those times when i start to lose my grip on reality and sink into that place in my head that only i can see.The place that nobod else can go. its beyond your imagination.i dont like order, i like variation and daydreams.i dont want you to map out my life, i want to dress up in all my clothes at once and stand on the very edge of a tall building where ill spread my arms like in titanic.i want to lie on a traintrack and whisper secrets to the wind. i dont like this routine, all these plans.i want to be reckless and board a train to somewhere i dont know. ill drink iced tea out of a san pellegrino bottle and wear black wayfarers that make me mysterious. i don't want to have to worry anymore. i don't want to have to try and cheer up the ones that are drowning in the misery of their real worlds. i cant de-stress you, i cant take away your fear of becoming what you like least. it's what you have to do yourself see.i want to sharpen all my coloured pencils and take pictures of them in black and white.i want to find what im looking for, yeah im seeking solace.dont call me naieve because i believe theres hope, dont try and drag me out of my world. it might not be reality, but its real nice in here.