if you wrong us, will we not want revenge?

last night i dreamed that it was over, that the show had finally come to an end. The credits of my life were screening and in my head all i could hear was the hollow thunk of the film being spit out of the camera onto the cutting room floor. i didnt ask for the impossible, its not like i was reaching for the stars? it was nothing really. i didnt think so anyway. not to me. you took away the side of me that cares. i want to wear white stockings and a rainbow coloured dress. then im going to stand by the edge of the sea and smoke one hundred cigarettes, one after the other. til i cant even speak anymore. because theyre so very very bad for you, you know? its fun sometimes, to do things that you know arent good, to only do it for the moment. to screw around with life. stupid, reckless yeah, but only if you value your life. and well, guess what, i dont. id like to jump off the golden gate bridge dressed in flowing white, with flowers in my hair and i want someone to take a picture of it. then i wont be present. i will be gone.