13.2.10

when you feel so lost that you cant see what is before you. when you get what you want, but never what you need. i feel like sometimes what you imagine to be worse, would often be the more ideal situation. its playing a game with someone a lot more powerful than yourself. i don't know what drives me on. my wardrobe full of lace dresses, the classics on my bookshelves. the words that spill from my mouth are dated and unheard of. i don't need another reason to be mocked. but you suprise me. im not with the times, i read the paper, i pour the milk into cream jugs and serve it on the table with candles so it looks pretty. i am not you. i am not anybody really. just me. and i don't hide who i am, or what i'm like. i do not cover up my faith or my values. i'm not lost, but i can see that you are. you ask me questions that only authority could answer. i'm sorry that i am not an angel, sent to help restructure your life. i'd re-build it with books and make a tunnel out of magazines. i would stack picture frames on top of each other til they reached the sky, or hang glass decorations from my ceiling. that would help me if i was you. that would make me smile. but i'm not you. and you're not me. im the girl that sits in an empty room, but in my head im somewhere beautiful where nothing hurts. if you tell yourself something often enough you start to believe it after a while. so my word is beautiful. maybe you should try it.