it's a task laid out in front of me. Small bites crawling down my throat, sticking to my insides and hammering me with guilt upon every swallow. There is motion in my head and i can feel my sanity spiralling down, plummeting to the very soles of my feet where they seize up making my body immobile. I can't do it, i cannot sit here smiling and laughing as i overflow my insides. My breath is short and i can feel the food in my throat, punnishing me for hunger with every taste. There is a silent scream in my head as i choke back each morsel, drowning them in self hate. i want to be nothing