the bottom of the ocean

flames ignite in my head from dizziness and i could collapse from sheer exhaustion. The merry go round is spinning faster and faster, weaving it's cold fingers around my core and dragging me down as it turns. Sixteen bites, marching down my throat like little ants, leaving their sticky footprints in my mouth as reminders. I shut my eyes and stars collide behind my eyelids, my mind slowly crumbling. I can't breathe. My heart clangs loudly in my chest and i can hear the voices in my head raging back and forth. One little bite won't hurt. The merry go round splinters and for a split second i hesitate, one, two mouthfuls away from bliss. The thick layer of hatred that envelopes my body groans and i sink to the floor, unable to carry the weight. I push one, two mouthfuls away. I wish you understood. I wish i could make you see what you've done to me.